Don't get me wrong. I've never exactly been someone who sits back and lets life pass me by, but since my diagnosis with chondrosarcoma in 2008, I have been driven to cherish the moment and to make the most of every opportunity.
At the time I was diagnosed, I had just given birth to my second child - Isobel. It had been suspected that I had obstetric cholestasis of the liver. To confirm this, various tests were required, including an ultrasound of the liver. This is where an anomaly was picked up on my ribs.
Fast forward three weeks and I was back in York to be induced as a result of the, then confirmed, cholestasis. After 5 days and 3 inductions (that's a whole other story!), Isobel was born on Sunday morning. Quite unexpectedly on the Monday, I was whisked away for a CT scan as follow up to the rib anomaly.
Within 2 hours, my life was turned upside down. A tumour was diagnosed, a referral to the Royal Orthopaedic hospital in Birmingham was made and I was advised that I would be contacted to arrange a biopsy.
I guess this was the lowest point; the not knowing, not sleeping, not eating and going through the motions of caring for an 18-month old and newborn baby, whilst being entirely detached from my surroundings.
But the confirmation of my diagnosis, set me on path to recovery, where I shortened my focus to only whatever was due to happen next and looked no further ahead. No mean feet for a strategic thinker who is firmly rooted in the future!
I can't thank the NHS team enough: Patient receptionists, dedicated consultants, skilled surgeons, wonderful nurses. Treatment was across four hospitals, there were many variables to consider and at times the logistics were challenging to say the least! Add a mum with a new baby into the mix and you can imagine that we left quite a wake!
There were times when the enormity of the situation did catch up with me: I felt hugely cheated out of the period of bonding that I should have been having with my new daughter, spent far too much time at the doctors, in a state of general paranoia about my health and somewhat aggrieved that I was wasting my maternity leave by being sick and would still ultimately have to go back to work at the time I had originally planned.
There was a turning point in August 2008, though, where I watched my twin sister competing in the London Triathlon. I still found it uncomfortable to do most things at that point, given my recent surgery, but as I stood there, I told myself that I would be taking part the following year. In October, I went back to the gym and started gentle training, by Christmas I was learning front crawl, even though I couldn't lift my arm above my head and the following Spring I started an ambitious training plan that got me through to the triathlon in August. And I did it. And I wasn't last!
Many things have changed since that point. I am separated from my husband, work full time, have two great children, set up a photography business and found the Bone Cancer Research Trust. (On my doorstep!)
I don't regret anything that has happened. I don't feel sorry for myself or hard on my luck. I know I am one of the lucky ones.
I see things far more clearly now and have little tolerance for negativity. I focus my energies where they bring reward, for others and for me.
These days, I surround myself with good, kind friends, who thrive, despite challenge and adversity and seem to share a degree of the resilience that I'm so glad I possess. They accept me for who I am and encourage me to be the best that I can be.
I just need to remember to stop and relax from time to time! But not just yet...
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